Flying Solo - Managing Your Dog and Baby When You’re Alone with Them

When families with dogs and babies call me about dog training, their questions are usually about their dogs’ behavior around their babies. They wonder if their dog might be jealous of the baby. They may be concerned because the dog seems nervous around the baby. They want to know how to foster a loving relationship between dog and baby.

If their dog is ignoring the baby they wonder if there’s something wrong, or if the dog just doesn’t like the baby. And very often they worry about safety: might their dog hurt their new baby?

A DIFFERENT KIND OF QUESTION

I consider my clients’ privacy very important, so I never tell stories about individual people I’ve worked with. Their problems and solutions can be helpful to others, though, so what I’m describing in this article is taken from many different stories I’ve heard. This article is about someone I’ll call Karla, (not a specific individual), who called me asking for help. This is what she told me:

“My husband and I have a new baby, and our dog is a 5-year-old terrier mix named Pixie. We rescued Pixie from a shelter when she was about a year old, and she’s been part of our family ever since. She has always enjoyed playing with us, and we like playing with her too, so giving her lots of attention has never been a problem for us.

We’ve always walked her a couple of times a day, and taken her to the park on weekends. But now that we have a baby, we don’t have nearly as much time for Pixie, and it seems that she’s asking for more and more play time with us, especially when we’re busy with the baby.

When my husband is home it’s not too bad, because he can play with her or take her for a walk while I’m taking care of the baby. But he travels with his job, and sometimes he’s gone for 2 or 3 days, or even a week. When he’s gone, I’m alone with Pixie and the baby, and I’m at my wit’s end!

Pixie barks at me to play with her, she brings me her toys and keeps dropping them in my lap, even when I’m holding the baby. I keep telling her to stop, but it doesn’t seem to help. I know Pixie is basically a nice dog, and she’s not bothering the baby. But it’s hard for me when I’m all by myself, trying to care for both of them. It’s driving me crazy!

So this is my question: How can I take care of my baby, and still give Pixie what she needs, when I’m alone with them, sometimes for long periods of time?”

MY CONVERSATION WITH KARLA

I told Karla that when a parent is alone with a dog and baby, and the dog is becoming bothersome, the first step is to figure out what’s causing the dog’s behavior.

I asked Karla questions that would help pinpoint what was causing Pixie to ask for attention repeatedly. If you’re struggling with managing your own dog around your baby, these questions will help you understand what’s going on with your own dog, and make it easier to work out ways to solve the problems you’re having.

QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR DOG

Are there times of the day that your dog is more likely to ask for attention? Is he more active in the morning, the afternoon, or perhaps in the evening?

Lack of exercise is a common cause of dogs’ repeatedly asking for attention. Is your dog getting enough exercise that might include leash walks, off-leash play, running and other strenuous exercise, play with adults in the family, or with other dogs?

Training is a great way to give dogs attention, provided that the training is done in a way that the dog enjoys. Using positive training methods can give dogs important mental stimulation and be very engaging, and almost as tiring as physical exercise. For example, teaching your dog tricks is fun for both you and your dog, can be done in just 3-5 minutes at a time, and can help keep your dog happy and quiet.

For games you can play with your dog in 5 minutes or less, visit FREE DOG GAMES and download the 5-Minute Dog Games. They will make it easy for you to get started giving your dog more attention, right away!

In my conversation with Karla, I asked her if Pixie got excited before or after particular activities: before or after a walk, after play time, after a nap, when other family members came home, when the family was quiet.

Some dogs will become very persistent in asking for attention when the adults are sitting quietly on the sofa; the people are easily available to the dog, and often they’re not engaged in any other activity and may be more likely to respond to the dog. The dog quickly learns it’s a good time to ask for attention.

I asked Karla if she thought Pixie might be bored, in addition to perhaps lacking exercise. Dogs can get bored, just like children. When you have a baby, you’re probably so busy yourself that boredom may be the last thing you have to worry about. But your dog may not have enough to do, especially since you’re so busy, and he may be restless because he’s bored.

I also asked Karla if Pixie seemed to be reacting to the baby. For instance, when the baby cried, did Pixie get restless or agitated, or nervous or run away? Did Pixie seem to notice when Karla was feeding the baby, bathing her, or changing diapers?

Finally, did Karla notice Pixie getting more active or restless when Karla was nervous or agitated herself? Dogs will often react to our moods, and I wondered if Pixie might be reflecting Karla’s emotional state.

WHAT KARLA FOUND OUT ABOUT PIXIE

As Karla thought about how Pixie reacted throughout the day, she saw that there were times when Pixie was usually quiet, and other times when she got excited and started asking for attention.

Karla was surprised to realize that Pixie was often quiet in the morning, even though she had slept all night. After going outside and then having her breakfast, Pixie spent most of the morning napping. That worked well for Karla, since her baby was awake and playful in the morning. Most days, mornings were easy for Karla to manage.

But around noon time, Pixie started getting more active. Waking up from her morning naps, she began to get restless and came to Karla for attention. This was difficult for Karla, because this was a time that Karla was usually feeding the baby.

As the afternoon wore on, Pixie got more and more insistent about wanting attention. When the baby was napping, Karla was able to spend some time with Pixie, but it seemed that the more Pixie played, the more excited she got, until she began barking at Karla, who didn’t know what to do to quiet her.

The most challenging time was late afternoon, when Karla was fixing dinner, along with trying to keep her baby happy, since the baby was often hungry and fussy at that time.

During the evening, there were times when Pixie was quiet and peaceful, but if Karla sat down on the couch, Pixie often came to her and dropped a toy in her lap. Karla would throw the toy, hoping to send Pixie away, but Pixie just kept coming back with the toy over and over again.

A PLAN TO MAKE LIFE EASIER FOR KARLA

I helped Karla make a schedule for Pixie during the day and evening, a plan that would give Pixie the attention she needed, while freeing up Karla when she needed to be attending to the baby, as well as doing regular household chores.

MORNING TIME

Since Pixie was quiet and sleepy in the morning, nothing needed to change at that time.

NOON TIME

I suggested Karla save part of Pixie’s breakfast and use it to fill an interactive food toy. I told her she could mix the food with some canned food, treats, and a little water, and then put it a food toy and freeze it. Then she could give Pixie the food toy when Karla was feeding the baby. Because Pixie’s breakfast had been smaller than usual, she would be hungry and love working on the frozen food toy.

AFTERNOON

When Karla’s baby took a nap, Karla could spend a few minutes with Pixie. I suggested that instead of playing games that got Pixie excited, she teach Pixie some tricks. Trick training is just as valuable as any other kind of training, and just as much fun for the dog, without getting the dog excited. There are great resources online for trick training.

I also told Karla about 7 games I’ve developed to help busy parents give their dog some fun. The games take less than 5 minutes each, so it’s easy to fit them in. If you don’t already have those games and would like to get them, go to the FREE DOG GAMES page on this website to download them.

BEFORE DINNER

This time is often the most challenging time in homes with dogs and babies. The baby is hungry and may be fussy, the dog is hungry and getting excited about his dinner, and parents are at the end of their day too and are busy coping with everything that’s happening all at once.

My recommendation to Karla was that she feed Pixie as soon as the dog started asking for dinner. I told her Pixie should be fed where the baby couldn’t get to her, for safety, and that she should be given a chew toy after her dinner. Dogs often like to chew after eating; chewing cleans their teeth, and it feels to the dog as if dinner is going on longer. If Pixie begged at the table when people were eating, she could be behind a baby gate or in another room with her chew toy.

EVENING TIME

I had explained to Karla that responding to Pixie when she asked for attention would reward Pixie for seeking a response from Karla. If Karla initiated play or training, Pixie would be more likely to wait for Karla to make contact with her.

So Karla decided that in the evening, when Pixie was likely to try to get Karla’s attention, she would spend a few minutes training Pixie and then give her a chew toy to play with. That would give Pixie some attention at the beginning of the evening, and then she could settle down with a toy, so Karla could relax too.

TIPS FOR WHEN YOU’RE FLYING SOLO WITH YOUR DOG AND BABY

Supervision is always important when your dog is around your baby, but when you’re alone with the two of them, there are bound to be times when you can’t be right there. Here are some suggestions for keeping dog and baby safely separated when you can’t watch them.

1. Baby gates between dog and baby.

2. Dog in a crate or kennel with a chew toy.

3. Put the dog in another room, again with a chew toy.

4. Your dog can spend a short time in a safely fenced yard.

5. An outing with a dog walker.

6. Share doggie play dates with a friend.

7. Often it’s helpful to keep your dog leashed, even in the house, if he’s active and lively; that way you can prevent him toppling the baby over in his exuberance.

A walk with dog and baby in the middle of the afternoon can be a good, relaxing time for everyone, provided it’s safe for one parent to walk both dog and baby at the same time. If it’s too much to handle alone, try to find a friend that will walk with you, so that one person can take the baby and the other the dog. Getting out for a walk, even a short one, can help a dog relax.

Some dogs tend to get “hyper” when they’re hungry. If you see your dog getting more active before meals, especially in the late afternoon or when you’re fixing dinner, perhaps feeding your dog earlier may help. If you have a Kong toy for your dog, filling it with his food, mixed with a little canned food and water, and then freezing it, can give your dog an activity that will keep him busy for a while as he tries to get all the frozen food out of the Kong. Just remember to keep your baby away from your dog when he’s working on the Kong. Learn more about this topic: Food, dogs and babies are not a good threesome!

WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST CHALLENGE WHEN YOU’RE ALONE WITH YOUR DOG AND BABY?

Managing a dog and baby when you’re alone can feel overwhelming at times, for any parent. What problems would you like to solve? Visit Work with Jane to learn about individual dog training consultations.