How to Use Food Treats With a Nervous Dog

Are you finding that your dog seems to keep his distance from your baby? If so, maybe he’s nervous or even afraid of the baby.

I often get calls from clients who ask me why their dog seems to be avoiding their baby. The names and circumstances of these clients vary, but the message is the same: “I love my dog and I want him to love my baby, so the two of them can become best friends. But my dog isn’t warming up to my baby and seems nervous when she’s near by.”

The dog in this photo is showing signs of nervousness: the dog is looking away from the baby, you can see the white of his eye, a sign of nervousness, he’s pulling his body away from the baby’s touch, and his mouth is tightly closed and he looks stiff. Time to move the baby away!

WHY DOGS MIGHT NOT RESPOND TO THE BABY

There are many possible reasons that a dog may feel some nervousness about a new baby. Perhaps he’s never had any exposure to babies and may be unsure of just what or who the baby is. Animals in general are programmed to be wary of anything unfamiliar, a protective behavior in the wild, and many dogs feel safer avoiding anything new. 

If your dog has never been exposed to babies, especially during dogs’ prime socialization period before 4-5 months of age, then he may perceive your baby as something new and different, rather than realizing that the baby is just a small person. There’s very little to tell a dog that a baby is an immature human being - babies’ scent, movement and sounds are all different from those of older children and adults, and a small baby may just not be on the dog’s list of what’s familiar. If that’s the case with your dog, he may feel safer keeping some distance from that new and different little creature. 

The tendency to avoid a baby may be stronger in dogs that are shy or fearful, and those dogs often take longer to warm up to a new baby. They may be more likely to avoid the baby, especially if the baby’s moving around, crying, or making other sounds unfamiliar to the dog. 

If your dog was adopted when he was older than 4-5 months, and you don’t know his history, it may be that he had a bad experience around a baby and has generalized that bad experience to all babies, even though nothing frightening has happened with your baby.

ARE FOOD TREATS HELPFUL? 

When dogs seem nervous or fearful around a new baby, it’s natural for  parents to want to know how they can foster a warm, loving relationship between their dog and baby. Because food is so important to dogs, it’s often the first strategy parents think of: Call the dog over to the baby and give him lots of food treats! 

It’s easy to find recommendations online for this practice, and people sometimes report that giving the dog treats near the baby resulted in a positive response from the dog. When this happens, it may be that the dog was not especially nervous about the baby, but just not very interested. 

But is using food treats around the baby really a good idea for all dogs? What kind of fallout could result from using treats to coax a nervous dog to come close to a baby, when the dog has been keeping his distance? 

Parents sometimes hope that if the dog is given treats when he’s near the baby, he’ll “learn” that nothing bad happens around the baby, and he’ll realize that it’s safe for him to be close. But fear often doesn’t work that way, especially with dogs. Here’s a situation I often describe to my clients, using myself as an example.

A FICTIONAL STORY ABOUT FEAR

Here’s how I explain to my dog training clients why coaxing a dog toward something he’s afraid of probably won’t help him feel less fear. My example is about me, and I encourage people to imagine themselves in a similar situation, in order to make the feelings more real to them.

I ask them to think of something they’re afraid of. For many people it’s snakes, large beetles, or threatening strangers. I then tell them that for me, it’s spiders. I find them really frightening, and I just don’t want to be around them!   

I then ask my clients to imagine this scene: I visit a home where someone named Pete has a pet tarantula. The tarantula lives in a room where a space has been set up for him on a shelf. Pete assures me that the spider is friendly and won’t hurt me. I let Pete know that friendly or not, I’m afraid of spiders, especially those as big as tarantulas, and I just don’t want to go near him.

Pete then decides to coax me closer to the tarantula by taking out a piece of very good chocolate, which I love. He holds it out to me, standing several feet away from the tarantula. I get the smell of the chocolate and find I just can’t resist it, and as Pete encourages me to come take it, I move forward, grab the chocolate, and retreat to the other side of the room to eat it. 

Pete then offers me another piece of the same chocolate, which was wonderful, but this time he moves a little closer to the tarantula. Again I grab the chocolate and move away with it.

What do you think would happen if this scenario was repeated over and over again? How close would I get to the tarantula? And would I be likely to feel less nervous about the tarantula as I got more and more chocolate? 

Or do you think I might I get more and more nervous as I got closer and closer? And, most importantly, would the chocolate make me like the tarantula? 

The above scenario is one I made up a long time ago, to give people a sense of how it feels to be coaxed toward something that’s causing fear and stress. I’ve never been involved in a situation like the one above, but I can tell you without doubt that there’s no amount of chocolate that would change my feeling about spiders. Yes, I would enjoy the chocolate and I would love eating it, but that would not have any effect on my fear of spiders.

Think about something that causes you fear. Would food treats change your reaction? Imagine yourself in a situation like the one above, and take note of your feelings as you walk through it in your mind. I think it’s most likely that you’ll realize that simply adding food to the scene will not change your feelings.

WHAT ABOUT DOGS?

But I can imagine you saying, “But dogs are different! They don’t necessarily react the way people do.”

Actually, dogs are remarkably similar to people in their reactions to anything they perceive as threatening. However, one big difference between dogs and people is that there’s no way to explain to a dog that there’s nothing to be afraid of, as one might with a fearful person. 

If your dog feels nervous or fearful about the baby, and he’s avoiding being close to the baby, coaxing him to come near can quickly cause his stress to skyrocket. Signs of stress in dogs are often subtle and can be hard to read, especially if we haven’t been trained to recognize them. But one thing is certain, and that is that encouraging a dog to come closer to a source of stress will increase his reaction. 

The best way to help a dog get over his nervousness about the baby is to make sure that the dog has positive experiences around her. And if your dog is already nervous when he’s near your baby, that closeness won’t feel positive to him. So here’s what to do.

HOW TO USE FOOD TREATS AROUND BABIES

The safest and best way to use food treats around babies is this: When the dog notices the baby or moves toward the baby, or even looks in her direction, get your dog’s attention and quickly toss a food treat on the floor, in a direction away from the baby, not toward her.  As you toss the treat, keep your hand low, near your dog’s muzzle, so the dog will be sure to see what you’re doing. Encourage him to go find the treat.

Searching for the treat on the floor will distract your dog, and finding the treat will reward him for turning away. This will help to relieve any nervousness your dog may feel about being close to your baby, as he learns that he can move away from the baby when he needs space. This is something many dogs don’t understand, and knowing that it’s okay to turn away can go a long way toward helping your dog feel more comfortable when he’s near your baby. As you practice with him, he will be likely to become more and more relaxed and less nervous. 

As your dog begins to feel more comfortable around your baby, he should start to develop positive feelings about her. This can be a slow process for some dogs, so don’t rush it; let your dog have as much time and space as he needs, even if it seems to be taking longer than you think it should. It’s not unusual for dogs to take several weeks or even months to warm up to a new baby. 

But over time, most dogs will relax and start to develop a warm, loving relationship with the baby. A win-win for everyone!

A QUICK SUMMARY

Dogs are sometimes nervous about anything unfamiliar, and that can include your baby.

Nervousness or fear of the baby may cause your dog to avoid being near. 

Coaxing a dog to come close to something he’s nervous about can cause his stress to increase.

Using food treats to encourage your dog to move away from the baby will help teach him he can keep a comfortable distance from the baby, and that will help him feel less nervous. 

As your dog feels less nervous about the baby, he’ll start to develop positive feelings about her!

MORE HELP!

As you’re working with your dog to help him feel less nervous about your baby, it can be helpful to you and to your dog to give him some extra attention by playing some games that aren’t related to your baby. Here’s an easy way to get started: Free Dog Games you can play with your dog in 5 minutes or less.